Thursday, June 6, 2013

Megyn Kelly Reads Dobbs and Erickson on Women, Bread, and Winning

Photo by glamourmagazine

Last week, it was widely reported that women have earned a new position in the workforce; breadwinner.

Whether moms are bringing home larger paychecks than dads, or raising children without a partner, they are supporting 40 percent of America's households. And a certain group of pundits reacted with a TOTAL FUCKING MELTDOWN.

The all-male panel featured on Lou Dobbs Tonight tried to disguise irrational fear and anger with "science." They concluded "we're watching society dissolve around us" and it's "hurting our children." Women breadwinners are just unnatural, because "the male typically is the dominant role."

Fervent participant Erick Erickson shared his delusions with Lou Dobbs after sounding the anti-feminist alarm on Red State, the conservative blog where he wrote this:
In modern society we are not supposed to point out that children in a two-parent heterosexual nuclear household have a better chance at long term success in life than others. In modern society, we are supposed to applaud feminists who teach women they can have it all — that there is no gender identifying role and women can fulfill the role of husbands and fathers just as men do.
Erickson's self-righteous rant caught the attention of Fox News personality Megyn Kelly. When asked to repeat his position, Erickson came up with this:
We've got to a point in this country where you've got a lot of feminists who think that the male and female roles are completely interchangeable. That there is no need for a man to support his family. You've got men walking away. You've got women becoming single mothers. Not by their choice. You've got a lot of people thinking it's a lifestyle choice. This isn't healthy for society when we think that roles of gender completely can be interchangeable.
Clearly, feminism is the culprit. Lou Dobbs, who may or may not agree with Erickson, was also invited to discuss biological, social and economic factors contributing to the breadwinner crisis.

Needless to say, this is television opining at its finest:

As usual, Kelly only understands women's issues when they affect her. She is no feminist, but her outrage seems to resemble a "click moment." Kelly pushing back against the smug, dismissive commentary that literally surrounds her makes for a delicious talking-head-sandwich.

These are the best moments from this unbelievable cable news three-way:

1) Those shit-eating grins. Excuse me. Something tells me you're not taking this seriously.

2) "High-income lesbian families." I need you to say it again. And then I need you to explain how these women skewed the data in this study and ruined everything for straight people. Yet again.

3) "You are judging them. You are." Seriously, Erick Erickson. You are. But then we learn the truth: he can't tell the difference between facts and opinions. (Sad.) Or the difference between science and not science. (More sad. And also scary.)

4) "Just because you have people who agree with you doesn't mean it's not offensive." That's worthy of a t-shirt. Or at least a bumper sticker. And you know who would buy those? Emo liberals.

5) Then Lou Dobbs hawks an old man loogie in the background. (Gross.) And Erickson warns his phlegm-filled friend, "Be careful, Lou." Because Kelly is coming for you.

But Dobbs doesn't need your caution. He came prepared, with linear thoughts and articulate arguments. Because, YOU GUYS! The Serengeti is on fire-- and this is obviously the fault of working women.

6) We're losing the war on drugs. The economy is fucked. Men's jobs in disappearing industries are, well, disappearing. Marriages are shattering. And who is to blame? Those big-city-no-bra-wearing-hairy-legged-women-libbers. I mean breadwinners. Hey lady! Gimme back my bread...

Kelly notices her challenger starting to sound all ramble-y, like Clint Eastwood talking to a chair. But Lou Dobbs does not like to be interrupted.

7) "Excuse me! Let me just finish what I'm saying, if I may, oh dominant one." Oh, SNAP! To be fair, Dobbs just wants to be sure everyone is on the same page about broken homes leading to mental illness...

Meanwhile, Erickson is still convinced essentialism is actual science and supports his argument with anecdotal evidence. No one's going to convince him those subjective views are anything short of factual information. Not the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, Columbia University, or any other study Kelly references with results contrary to Erikson's narrow perspective.

8) "These experts are politically motivated." Don't get me started on pediatrics and politics. But never mind, because--

9) BOOM! Racism. And Kelly suggests Obama is successful. ON FOX NEWS. But drawing parallels between family structures that deviate from a straight, white, patriarchal norm isn't convincing anyone. (Did we learn nothing from Cheerios?!)

Anyway, Erickson still insists working moms and stay-at-home dads are unstable. And then Kelly points out he's denigrating the choices made by others. And then Erickson looks to Dobbs for help patronizing the woman who doesn't agree with him. Yet, in the midst of all this, Dobbs is promised the last word, and we get this gem--

10) Boys from single-parent homes will never make it to law school.

So there you have it. Women with money. Ruining everything. Especially if they get their own TV show.

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