A "Supportive" Response to Yale Fraternity

Photo courtesy of WikiMedia Commons

Exactly one week ago, pledges for the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity at Yale University marched to their campus Women's Center and raised their voices to let the community know a little more about their beliefs.

This controversial act of speech, expression and assembly was caught on video, posted on YouTube, and covered by every media source available.  Thanks to the Internet, their message reached a much larger audience than they were anticipating.  Jezebel was kind enough to post the words on their website so we could all join the chanting.  And it goes a little something like this:

My name is Jack
I'm a necrophiliac
I fuck dead women
and fill them with my semen

No means yes
Yes means anal

Fuck Al Qaeda
Fuck Al Qaeda
(repeating)

Fucking sluts
Fucking sluts
(repeating)

USA
USA
(repeating)

Confused?  Don't be.  The objective is right there in the first two lines.

Apparently these men were pursuing rights for necrophiliacs- an underrepresented percentage of the population, to be sure.  But they went about it all wrong.  So I'd like to take this opportunity to offer the Yale Delta-Kappa-Epsilons a little advice.

Guys-- if you’re going to stage a protest, you need to be clear about your grievances and your demands.  And when seeking inclusion, I would think it better not to be explicit about the sexual practices that place you outside of societal norms.  The "in your face" approach is just going to make everyone uncomfortable, decreasing the likelihood that you will rally any support for your cause. 

On to the next stanza.  No means yes?  In the case of dead partners, I would assume silence means yes.  And critics should be sensitive to the fact that some people are not confident enough to initiate a conversation about consent, forcing them to seek sexual gratification outside “the living.”  But-- yes means anal?  I mean really.  Whatever you and the deceased are doing behind closed doors is your business.  And again, I must warn you that over-sharing in your chanting may drive some people away. 

Moving right along.  Fuck Al Qaeda?  This is where you lost me.  However, I will assume you mean dead Al Qaedans, because you’ve already established your group as having a necrophiliac interest.  But then why are Al Qaedans sluts?  Perhaps this is the self-loathing surrounding your sexual preferences— because you’ve been labeled bad, or wrong.  But that's no reason to lash out.  Especially at the people you care about.

Obviously, you are in desperate need of a support structure; an asylum where you can be open and  honest about your feelings.  A safe space, much like the Women's Center where you held your demonstration, for Al Qaeda-loving necrophiliacs at Yale.  This leads me to believe you positioned yourselves strategically out of envy.

No matter.  You too, deserve a refuge from oppression.

And lastly, USA?  I get it.  Even though your nation has turned its back on you, you still hold a special place in your hearts for the red, white and blue.  You are patriots, but you are ashamed that you are attracted to the corpses of terrorists that plague our country.  I applaud your bravery and thank you for bringing this issue into an open forum.

.....    

So, while the uproar against their actions was understandably a knee-jerk reaction, I would caution others to not pass judgment on these poor souls.  Sure they’re disgusting.  And their slogan wasn’t that clever— seriously, it didn’t even rhyme—but we can’t hold that against them.  Our founding fathers believed that all men are created equal.  Who are we to say whether anal sex between an Ivy league student and a dead Al Qaedan is appropriate?

In closing, I would like to personally reassure the men of Yale’s Delta Kappa Epsilon that they have been heard and they have my support.  Your Al Qaedan-preferring necrophiliac organization will live in secrecy (behind the front of a college fraternity) no more!  But before you take to the streets again, might I suggest tweaking your campaign because some people found the first round of chanting rather offensive.  And remember; always be clear about your grievances and your demands in your quest for social change.

Otherwise, people might think you were endorsing violence against women or something.  Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?